Burnt Red
by MDT
Summary: ACT II is up. Curly's on the run from police... it's funny, honestly...
1. Act I

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MDT's "Hey Arnold!" Fan Fiction

"Burnt Red"

Written By Shaun Blankenship

Author's Note:

Well, I can't stay out of the looming shadow of _Same In The End_, so this one too was influenced by a lot of music… except in this story, I never give the quotes. However, I do in that story but I do make a lot of small references to the songs that may be hard to catch and only noticeable by someone like me. All of them are by the same band that, for some reason or another, just dropped right off the face of the Earth. They tour every once in a while (Mostly in Europe) and kept talking about how they were going to quit the music industry back in 94… then they did some soundtrack songs… then made two new albums… then they disappeared. If you can figure it out, you get a free Tootsie-Pop.

And only then after you do three back-flips on burning hot coals.

Anyways, with all the fun I had writing _Same In The End_, I had the most fun writing about Curly and Sid. It was then I realized I never did a story about them in particular. I also feel this story is really back (Unlike the last story) to my old school, Shaun Blankenship, View-Askew-ish type of style. Well… voila.

Also, I've decided to break it into two acts: one for now and the other for later. Why? One – because this Act I alone is just 5,000 and somethin' words long, longer than my average single story. Think of it as a half-hour episode. Two – because I can't wait to post it! I need feedback! I need a review of how it's goin' so far! Please! Somebody!

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ACT I

SCENE:_ The bus is pulling away from P.S. 118 on its way to drop the children off to their homes. Our focus is on Rhonda who, today, is sitting by herself. Curly slowly creeps his head up from the seat behind her and starts to sniff her hair. Rhonda's face is stone solid as if she is unaware. Without moving anything but her mouth, she speaks…_

RHONDA: If you don't go back to whatever hole you crawled out of in three seconds, freak-boy, I'm gonna make your life unbearably painful.

CURLY: [Slowly creeps back into his seat without saying anything. Once in his seat, he turns over to Park, the kid sharing the seat with him.] What are you looking at?

PARK: Nothing. [Turns his head forward to avoid eye contact, yet talks with much confidence.]

CURLY: [Grips onto Park's shoulders and turns his body to face him.] You were looking at me, weren't you? You think I'm crazy, don't you?!

PARK: No, actually I was thinking of whatever happened to Rhonda's glasses.

CURLY: I bet you think I'm two cards short of a full-deck, don't you? Loony! Nuttier than a friggin' fruitcake! Crazier than a rat in a…

PARK: Calm down, Curly! You're really scaring me!

CURLY: Oh, so now I'm scary! What are you trying to say? [Pulls him closer while park turns his head to dodge spit.] That I'm ugly? You think I'm just hideous, don't you? Homely! Grotesque! Repugnant! Repulsive! Look at me! [The bus driver turns off into a supermarket parking lot and stops the bus. Suprisingly, Murray is driving the bus.]

MURRAY: [Walks from the steering wheel to Curly.] Is there some kind of problem back here?

CURLY: [Gripping Park closer but staring head-on at the bus driver.] Oh, so now I'm some kind of problem? That I'm just some kind of nuisance? I've got this calling me a hideous psycho and now _you're_ gonna try and tell me that I have some kind of _issues_?

MURRAY: [Calmly, yet annoyed… in the usual Murray manner.] Slick, if you can't behave and let the kid go, I'm gonna have to ask you to get off of my bus.

CURLY: Oh, so now you're kicking _me_ off for being harassed? I will sue this whole city! [Let's go of Park and stands in his seat.] I will sue you! I will sue Wartz! I will sue Simmons! I demand a fair trial before I am taken from this bus! I shall not be moved! [Puts a fist in the air.]

MURRAY: [Blinking.] Can you make it off by yourself or shall I escort you?

CURLY: [Steps off of the seat.] Oh, I see how this is… [Turns to the back of the bus.] Don't worry, everyone! Crazy Curly'll be gone soon!

HELGA: Just get off already so we can go home!

HAROLD: Yeah! I'm missing my after-school snack because of this!

CURLY: [Ignoring what everyone is saying as he walks backwards to the front of the bus.] Don't worry! Curly's been a bad boy! He must be dealt with! [Murray stands in Rhonda's seat space so that Curly doesn't bump into him while he's walking.] Score one for the system! Curly's finally out of here! [He walks down the steps to the doors but quickly jumps back.] All I wanna know is… who's coming with me?

EVERYONE: _GO!_

MURRAY: Get up, get out and get gone!

CURLY: Who's coming with me?

MURRAY: [Walks to the front of the bus.]

SCENE: _Outside of the bus, the doors open and Curly is thrown out onto the pavement. He dusts himself on and shakes a fist at the bus driver._

CURLY: This injustice shall be avenged! _AVENGED!_ [The door closes and the bus pulls away. One of the windows opens and Helga throws a pop can at his head. The window quickly slides back up.] Geez! A guy can't even speak his mind anymore! [Starts walking away. A few yards down the street, he walks to the apartment where his family lives. He throws his backpack on the couch and jumps over its arm to lay down and watch TV. His mom enters the room. I hardly ever describe characters to let your imagination make its own visual. Has anyone else noticed that? The mom walks up and turns the TV off.]

MOM: Did you steal the box of jewelry from the guest bedroom again?

CURLY: I've been at school the entire day, mother, when would I have to the upstairs room?

MOM: Don't talk to me like I'm some kind of idiot!

CURLY: Don't accuse me of stuff I couldn't do! You've kept it under lock and key ever since the last time you thought I stole it, and then just found it later in your room!

MOM: Only because you put it there…

CURLY: Mom, I didn't nor could I have taken your stupid necklace box today. [Turns TV back on with the remote.] Who cares? The guy at the pawnshop only gave me twenty for it yesterday. Nothing too valuable could've been there.

MOM: It's missing today, Thaddeus, not yesterday!

CURLY: Then somebody must've taken it after I sold it because it was gone yesterday. Maybe three days before if my memory's starting to slip.

MOM: [Sighs and walks off.] I'm searching your room.

CURLY: [Changes the channel.] Good luck, Betty.

SCENE: _Sid and Stinky are crossing the street over to Slausen's at night. Yeah, that's what's up. There's nothing more to it._

STINKY: …And then I reckon that she about had been fed up with his tomfoolery, and then Helga socked him in the face! [Starts chuckling.] Man-o-man, I love seeing that Brainy kid take one in the face.

SID: [Not laughing at all.] Stinky, it happens everyday. How can you find it funny after all these times?

STINKY: I dunno, I just do. Seeing any boy socked in the face by a girl is funnier than shoes on a duck.

SID: Yeah, but I don't know if you noticed or not that Helga is by no means some Lil' Miss Cupcake.

STINKY: I hear that. She's a heartbreaker, on account of how she left me after we were going out for a few days. Alas, it just was not meant to be.

SID: [Silent as they walk to the front of Slausen's.] I think I liked it better when all you would talk about was lemon pudding and Lila.

STINKY: [Starts tearing up and pauses at the door.] Helga always loved ice cream…

SID: [Slaps him on the face.] Everyone loves ice cream, unless they're lactose intolerant, and even _then _they love it but they _can't _eat it, and those people are missing the world. The relationship you had was typical. Focus on Lila. I am not wasting my time while you obsess over that shrew. Theorize and talk yourself until you're tired and old; I don't care.

STINKY: [Clearer now.] Okay.

SID: Besides, we all know who she has a crush on.

STINKY: Yeah… [Clenches his fists.] That Eugene character…

SID: Clearer than glass. [Finally walks into the ice cream parlor. Stinky immediately spots someone with a bowl of strawberry ice cream. Stinky freezes and Sid turns to him.] What? What's wrong?

STINKY: That ice cream is pink.

SID: [Looks over and back at Stinky.] Yeah? So what?

STINKY: [Tearing up again.] Helga always wears pink…

SID: [Plops his hands across his own face.] I'm gonna be sick.

STINKY: [Turns and someone had an ice cream cone with Vanilla.] She also always wears wh-

SID: [Pushes Stinky down onto a stool and sits next to him.] When was the last time you had ice cream?

STINKY: [Thinking.] Last month.

SID: You're horribly deprived. [Raises a hand to the clerk behind the counter.] Someone get this man a parfait!

CLERK: [Tall, gangly twenty-something in a red, button-up shirt that is unbuttoned (Polo? The name of those shirts escapes me, but I don't think it's Polo) with a white T-shirt underneath and a backwards baseball cap.] What do you want?

SID: I want the Slausen's Sundae with Slausen's Sauce. Stink?

STINKY: [Through some light tears.] A Sarasota Split with some slices of strawberry spliced inside.

CLERK: Okay… [Pulls out a notepad from the nothingness of under the counter.] One sundae with sauce… one split with strawberries. I'll get that to you in about a half-hour.

SID: A half-hour? Why so long?

STINKY: Because I wanna see if they let Van Wilder back into school. I got a VCR in the back room just callin' for me.

SID: Can't you just make the ice cream and then go back to your movie?

CLERK: No can do. The electrician shorted out this entire store a while back when he was trying to fix the freezer. After that, the pause button on the VCR never worked.

SID: Why can't you just…

CLERK: Wait, hold that thought. [Walks off into the back room. The sound of the TV is now very clear and sounds as if it gets louder.]

SID: It's times like these that make me just hate people… and bulldogs… and Tara Reid.

STINKY: Helga used to always watch TV… [Sid smacks him in the back of the head.] Oomph! [Rubs his head.] Thanks.

SID: Anytime. That's what I'm here for.

ARNOLD: [Takes a seat next to Sid.] Hey guys.

SID AND STINKY: Hey, Arnold.

ARNOLD: Consider yourselves lucky. I've been waiting at that booth since he started the movie.

STINKY: Gosh, what've you been doin' all that time?

ARNOLD: Thinking. [Stops and is quiet for a minute.] Have you ever just stopped to think about everything?

SID: Yes, and it never gets me anywhere.

STINKY: Why didn't you just leave once he started the movie?

ARNOLD: To "ensure the best service", he had me pay up front. I leave now and I'm out two-fifty.

SID: Boy, does it stink to be you, man.

ARNOLD: Did you hear what happened to Curly?

SID: I _was_ on the bus, you know.

ARNOLD: No, not that. This happened about an hour after he got home.

SID: [His eyes widen in that sickening interest people have for other's misfortune.] Nah, what happened?

SCENE: _Arnold narrates the scene as everything he says happens in a dramatization of his words._

ARNOLD: Well, he walked home and watched TV for a while…

SID: Typical.

ARNOLD: …and then he went to go make some popcorn or something. His family doesn't have a microwave so he had to use the Wiffy-Pop stuff. While he's making it, he goes to get a drink of water. He stands on a chair and reaches for a glass from an over the counter cupboard. In the process, his elbow accidentally knocks down a roll of paper towel on the counter. The paper towel falls onto the Wiffy Pop, knocks it to the floor and then catches on fire. Curly, being in too much of a panic to just use the sink attachment, runs around the house looking for an extinguisher. The cupboards catch on fire; the counters catch on fire. It starts to spread to his living room, and Curly's running panicked unsure of what to do.

STINKY: Gee-willikers.

ARNOLD: He finally finds an extinguisher and starts spraying it on the couch to contain the fire to the kitchen. He moves his way there and puts the whole thing out. His house is filled with smoke and his parents finally come out of their room to see what's going on. The smoke detectors then start going off finally and Curly snaps. He runs through the smoke of his kitchen and starts punching the detector off of the wall. His parents are trying to reason with him as they open the windows, but when they do that, the people across the street see the smoke coming out and call the fire department. When they get there, Curly's apartment was still smoking out the window, so they get out the hose and start shooting water inside of his house.

SID: Holy cow!

ARNOLD: Yeah. The water shorts all of their low-to-the-ground power outlets and destroys everything electronic in their house, while at the same time it pretty much knocks them to the floor giving them quick shocks from time to time. They had to crawl to get out of their home and outside to tell the firefighters to quit it.

SID: So what are they gonna do now?

ARNOLD: Their apartment was overall destroyed but luckily the landlord has insurance for the whole place. Being a nice guy, he didn't evict Curly's family, but it's gonna take about a month for that place to be deemed livable again. They have to put in new walls, ceilings, everything, yet the fire didn't hurt anybody else's apartment.

SCENE: _Back at the counter._

SID: Boy howdy! So where's he gonna go now?

ARNOLD: That's the thing. Right now, they're at the boarding house but they're not staying for long. Maybe they'll only be there for tomorrow and the night after. They're trying to get a hold of Curly's Grandma to see if she'll let them stay with her. The only problem with that is with school in session, Curly doesn't want to leave the city. I don't know what they're gonna do.

CLERK: [Comes out of the back room.] All right then, what did you kids want?

SID: I thought you wrote it down.

CLERK: [Once again, pulls a notepad out of the nothingness under the counter.] Okay, one split and sundae. What's with the human football?

ARNOLD: [A bit insulted.] I was sitting over there. I ordered the Slausen's Special Super Slick Shake. You made me pay already.

CLERK: Right.

SCENE: _The next day, Arnold is walking back home with Gerald._

ARNOLD: Well, I can imagine that Ewoks would have to pay some sort of tax on Endor. I mean, it may not be money as the humans do but they may have to sacrifice some food from their hut.

GERALD: Well, which do you think came first – Chewie or…

CURLY: [Runs up and throws his hands around their shoulders.] Hiya, guys!

BOTH: [Leery.] Hey, Curly.

CURLY: What are you two doing today? Wanna hang out?

GERALD: [Shifts his eyes back and forth looking for an escape. Speaks ver quickly-] Oh, man, there's my mom over at that bowling alley! See ya! [Darts across the road, causing traffic to halt and drivers to shake fists. Fists are shaking, people. May you not be blind to the power of a shaking fist.]

ARNOLD: [Glares at Gerald running away and turns frightened over to Curly, grinning like a dark secret.] Um, I have a bunch of back homework to do…

CURLY: Great, we can do it together!

ARNOLD: [More silence as they walk.] Yeah, it's really hard. Math problems. Long division. _REALLY_ long division. Three-sheeters.

CURLY: Great! I've always excelled in math! In fact, it's the only subject I've ever been good at!

ARNOLD: [Silence. Curly's still grinning.] Yeah, and that's due a week from now. What I'm really focused on is this Social Studies presentation I have to make tomorrow… which requires me to… go over to Gerald's house and… prepare our presentation.

CURLY: I don't remember Mister Simmons giving us any Social Studies presentation.

ARNOLD: Oh, it's just Gerald and me. We were… selected for our outstanding grades… and are doing a presentation to… the first graders! We have to find a way to be able to explain our topic to them.

CURLY: What's your topic?

ARNOLD: [Silence.] Economic reform.

CURLY: And what's that?

ARNOLD: [Silence.] That's what we're working on.

CURLY: [Thinks for a few seconds.] Okay! [Silence.] Can I come?

ARNOLD: Oh, you don't want to. Gerald's little sister caught some disease and…

CURLY: What disease?

ARNOLD: [Thinking.] Um, leprosy.

CURLY: Really?

ARNOLD: Yeah, and it's very contagious. _EXTREMELY_ contagious. She's quarantined and everything. We're living in fear.

CURLY: Well, why are you going there?

ARNOLD: I don't want a failing grade.

CURLY: Okay… well, I'll see you when you get back! We're here until Friday!

ARNOLD: Yeah, see ya. [Keeps walking along with Curly.] Where are you going?

CURLY: I'm living at the boarding house too for the moment.

ARNOLD: Oh, yeah.

SCENE: _Arnold is walking into Gerald's room with… Gerald. Shut up._

ARNOLD: Way to leave me alone back there.

GERALD: I thought it was my mom. Turned out it was someone else.

ARNOLD: Right. We need to find some way to get rid of him or at least keep him occupied until he's gone. I can't take this. This morning, I woke up and he was sitting on my computer surfing the Internet.

SCENE: _Quick, no weird-fade flashback of Arnold in his pajamas going up to Curly on his computer._

ARNOLD: What are you doing?

CURLY: Oh, just checking my e-mail. [The screen goes black and a large skull and crossbones appears.]

COMPUTER: _YOUR COMPUTER HAS BEEN INFECTED WITH THE WALDORF VIRUS! PLEASE WAIT WHILE YOUR HARD DRIVE COMPLETELY ERASES ITSELF…_

ARNOLD: [Glares at Curly.]

CURLY: Heh-heh… sorry?

SCENE: _Back in Gerald's room._

GERALD: That's nothing.

SCENE: _Another "no-fade" flashback. Curly is standing in the lunch line in front of Gerald waiting to be served and searching his pockets._

CURLY: Oh, crap! [Turns to Gerald.] Hey, I accidentally left my money at home. Could I bum a few dollars off of you until tomorrow?

GERALD: [Rolls his eyes and shrugs.] Yeah, sure. [Reaches in his pocket and grips three dollars. He hands it near Curly but pulls back quick.] Wait a minute. You get free lunch.

CURLY: So?

GERALD: [Crosses his arms still holding the money.] If you get it free, you don't need money.

CURLY: [The line moves up and Curly is now in front of the lunch lady but still talking to Gerald.] Come on! Give me my money!

GERALD: Your money?

CURLY: Come on! I need my lunch money!

GERALD: This is _my_ money!

LUNCH LADY: [Pulls out a walkie-talkie from her apron.] This is Doris in the cafeteria. We have a one-seventeen on our hands. I need backup.

WARTZ: [Cuts to Principal Wartz storming down the hall talking on a walkie-talkie.] Back up is on the way, over.

SCENE: _Gerald's room_.

GERALD: And now, not only did I have to give my money to Curly, but I have a week's detention for student robbery and insubordination.

ARNOLD: Wow… [Thinks for a minute.] I don't see how that's worse then my computer being erased but okay. That's pretty bad.

GERALD: I have a week full of detention! That can't be fixed! I tried telling them the truth but they wouldn't listen! They're saying that I shouldn't have taken advantage over someone who's just been in a traumatizing accident. This whole fire thing won't blow over until he's back in his house.

ARNOLD: Okay. But it's agreed something must be done. I'm scared to go back home. [Visual of the boarding house in the rain and Curly sinisterly grinning in the front window. Every time lightening strikes, the view zooms in a little bit more on Curly and eventually just shows his teeth. Arnold snaps to reality and shivers.]

GERALD: Well, what do we do until then?

SCENE: _Gerald and Arnold are playing a fighting game against Sid and Stinky at the arcade._

SID: Why not try Big Gino?

ARNOLD: That's too risky. When he makes people disappear, they don't come back. Ruth and Cecile are still missing. [Gerald, Stinky and Sid all stop playing at look at Arnold… with that look that says "Where have you been? Wake up!"]

GERALD: Let's be fair. [They all go back to playing.] We know he had something to with Ruth's disappearance, but Cecile… you mean you really don't know?

ARNOLD: Know what?

SID: Didn't you seem to think at one point that there was something… "_familiar_" about her?

ARNOLD: [Thinks.] No.

SID: She didn't remind you of anyone?

STINKY: [Stinky lets go of his controller and starts crying on the video game. He pulls away and starts pounding on it.] _Why? Why did you leave me?! WHY?!_

SID: [Smacks Stinky and he falls to the floor.] Anyway, why not Gino? He'll be out of your hair!

ARNOLD: Because I won't know exactly what happened to him. What if they… you know…

STINKY: [From the floor.] _Why did you leave me? Why…_ [Sid kicks him.] Ow…

ARNOLD: I don't want him to… [Makes a motion with his finger across his neck.]

SID: Point made. Well…[The video game is still being played but Stinky's character doesn't move. Because of this, no one attacks it.] …Why don't you try finding him a new place? Show his parents; talk to the people selling it….

ARNOLD: That takes too long. By that time, their apartment'll be back together. I need something for him to stay occupied. [Hits at the buttons.] I call this move "Shake Dog Shake"!

GERALD: Why don't we just find another person he can stay with?

ARNOLD: Why, do _you _want to live with him.

GERALD: All right, I'm out of ideas.

SID: I got it.

ARNOLD: What?

SID: He's bothering you two, right?

GERALD & ARNOLD: Right.

SID: You need time away from him both at home and school until this tragedy blows over, right?

GERALD & ARNOLD: Right.

SID: Let me bug him.

ARNOLD: What do you mean, "bug him"?

SID: Let me try and take him out of your hair for a few days until things cool down. I'll keep him occupied.

GERALD: Sid, this is Curly. You can't cage the boy.

SID: Why cage him when I can leash him? I'll just divert his attention away from you two and you won't have to deal with him.

ARNOLD: Why would you subject yourself to that kind of punishment?

SID: I got nothing else to do, and all _this_ guy [Looks down over at Stinky] wants to do is whine about Helga.

ARNOLD: He's still not over it?

SID: His dad tells me that he keeps sleepwalking over to her house. Weird, huh?

ARNOLD: Yeah… [Starts heavily playing the game, but then Gerald, Arnold, and Sid's characters all jump and kick at each other, then they all fall down. The screen reads, "Triple KO. Player 4 wins!"]

SID: Huh. Isn't that something? [Nudges Stinky with his foot.] Hey, Stink. You won.

STINKY: I did?

SID: Yeah. Any funny, three-lettered combination you want me to put as your initials?

STINKY: Yeah: S-P-P.

SID: [Thinks.] Why?

STINKY: For Stinky Peterson-Pata… [Sid kicks him before he finishes.] Ow… Fine, just put D-A-G.

SID: That's more like it. [Switches over to Stinky's controller.] So, are you willing to make an offer?

GERALD: For what?

SID: For my services. Following that little time bomb is gonna be a whole lot of trouble. I'm not cheap.

ARNOLD: [Reaches into his pockets.] All I have is two bucks.

SID: Two-fifty.

GERALD: [Reaches into his pocket.] Two-fifty. [Puts fifty cents into Arnold's hands. He then puts all the money in Sid's hands.]

SID: We are in business. [Walks away from the video game.] Come on, Stinky. [Stinky doesn't move.] Come on, Stinky! [Doesn't move. Sid talks very slick.] _We'll stop by her house_

STINKY: [Jumps up.] Really?

SID: No, come on.

STINKY: [Keeps talking as they walk out of the doors of the arcade.] Well, can _I_ just go to her house without you?

SID: [Stops in front of the arcade.] Fine!

STINKY: [Runs down the street.] _YEEEE-HAW!_

ARNOLD: [Looks over at Gerald.] Does this seem familiar to you? I feel like I've seen this in a movie somewhere.

GERALD: You have. _Ten Things I Hate About You_.

ARNOLD: [Thinks.] Oh, yeah… except that they were trying to _conform_ her to get her sister dating.

GERALD: Plus, that was based off of Shakespeare's _The Taming of the Shrew_.

ARNOLD: Yeah, but since there is no dating involved, our idea is completely original, right?

GERALD: [Starts walking out of the arcade with Arnold.] _Completely_ original!

ARNOLD: _Nothing_ like that movie.

SCENE: _The next day at school, Curly is eating lunch by himself. Sid sits next to him and Stinky follows._

SID: How ya doin', buddy?

CURLY: [Narrows his eyes. Speaks with a mouth full of cobbler.] Who sent you?

SID: Well, I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this but… [Leans over to Sid's ear.] …I'm an ex-government official - Stinky and me. We've come to warn you…

CURLY: You two never worked for the government.

SID: [Stares blankly at Curly's interruption.] Are you so sure?

CURLY: Yes. Yes, I am.

SID: Don't you think it's funny that I always wear black, and that Stinky's last name is Peterson?

CURLY: [Thinks.] What?

SID: Stinky Peterson? Stinky Pete? [Has his hands outstretched trying to emphasize his point.] Come on!

STINKY: I don't get it, Sid.

SID: Nobody does. [Collapses his head onto the table but a few seconds, he lifts back up.] That's not important! The important thing is that…

CURLY: You know, wouldn't exposing a past classified government position land you in a position to where you could find yourself executed?

SID: [Stares blankly.] We know… but yet… we have to tell you…

CURLY: Why's that?

SID: That's what I've been trying to tell you! [Pounds his fist down onto the table. Everyone in the cafeteria turns "his or her" head (_freakin' spellcheck errors_) to him. He slumps down and life resumes. He turns back to Curly.] Curly, our lives are on the line to tell you this, but they want you dead.

CURLY: [Pauses with a face full of no expression and a mouth full of a chicken roll-up.] Who's "they"? [Swallows his food.]

SID: [Stares blankly.] _Them_.

CURLY: Okay… who would you be referring to when you say _them_?

SID: The people! The government people!

CURLY: Which ones?

SID: _THEM! T-H-E-M!_

CURLY: [Thinks.] Them as in Extra-Terrestrials, or them as in the Grassy Knoll "them"?

SID: Grassy Knoll _them_!

CURLY: [Skeptical.] All right then, _they _want to kill me. Any particular reason _why_?

SID: Because you know things! Things nobody else is supposed to know!

CURLY: [Squints his eyes.] What do _you_ know?

SID: You know what they know and we know what they know, and you knowing what we know put you in the position to be destroyed. Whether you knew it or not what they know for the sake of knowing or had you stumbled upon it unknowingly, we know they want what you know and will not stop until they know that you don't know what we know and know you are dead.

CURLY: [Takes in what Sid has said.] Well, that explains a lot…

SID: I knew it would. We have to get you out of here, Curly. They're coming today.

CURLY: How do you two know this? When you started talking, you said that you were ex-government officials.

SID: Our mission was to find you and take you out, and me and Stinky…

CURLY: You mean… out on the town or something?

SID: If I could just say the important part of the story without being interrupted for stupid questions that I'm about to answer, I could grow old knowing my mission in life is fulfilled! [Starts panting in his chair.]

CURLY: Okay… calm down…

SID: We were sent to tie a cinderblock around your feet and toss you in the middle of the lake. Kill you! Being how that you were our friend…

CURLY: I didn't know I was your _friend_…

SID: BEING HOW THAT YOU WERE OUR _FRIEND,_ we refused to carry out the job. They relieved us from duty, took our badge, and we were kicked out of the department.

CURLY: You know, you never did tell me what the department you guys worked in.

SID: [Stares blankly.] It's that private.

CURLY: Well, so was your identity as government officials, but you jumped the hedge for that one rather quickly.

SID: _Fine!_ We work for… [Eyes around.] …The Shop.

CURLY: Like in _Firestarter_?

SID: Yes! Exactly like in _Firestarter_! We work in silence… [Thinks] …yet we have expanded our limitations. We don't just handle the pyrokenetic cases anymore.

CURLY: [Fascinated.] _Really…_

SID: The point is that we need to get you out of here as soon as possible. Ain't that right, Stinky?

STINKY: [Wakes up from sleeping, grasping at air.] _Helga! Helg... _huh? What?

SID: They'll come for you, and being here you're a sitting duck.

CURLY: But I'm not done with lunch…

SID: Let's _move_! [Grabs Curly's hand and runs out of the cafeteria with him. Stinky is still sitting at the table stunned.]

STINKY: I fall asleep with no idear of what's goin' on, and I wake up with no idear of what's goin' on. [Stands up from the table and pushes his chair in.]

__

Write a review, people! Do it now! Come on! Do it or the innocent, little bunny dies! There will not be any more bunny hopping!

****

To be continued… in Act II… any day now…

Well, I must be going. **_CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

All rights reserved. ©Shaun Blankenship. Used with permission.


	2. Act II

****

MDT's "Hey Arnold!" Fan Fiction

"Burnt Red"

Written By Shaun Blankenship

Author's Note:

__

Well, I didn't receive too many responses on Act I. I guess the clientele I attracted before has dwindled into almost nothingness. Then again, I don't read as many other people's fics as I probably should… I still need to finish Chief's "Said and Done". Oh, well, maybe a chapter addition will attract a few new people.

I was in a car accident Saturday and had some inspiration for another act. Some old lady slammed right into the side of my car… and my insurance is expired… so now I need a job… whatever. Many of you don't have this problem, but I do. Then again, I don't have a license yet… but I do_ have a permit. Well anyway, it gave me one more reason to "beat the elderly" and another idea for this act. Here we go…_

Oh, and by the way, the guy who told me not to call him a punk… with the really explicitly vulgar language in which I'm not about to repeat with a PG rating… yeah… that made you even more a punk. [PG! PG!] You damned punk… [Oh! There's the rating! Right there! There's the rating!] You have a lot of gall just spewing off a bunch of low brow comments without apparently reading the damn thing. I don't care what_ I call you at this point, because you're obviously an immature uneducated idiot. Take a joke and don't be such a moron to the point where you judge something without reading it… even further to the point where you bash me. Act a little professional, or else when you "grow up", you're gonna find it hard to make anything of yourself. Nobody's gonna wanna work with you, to the point where you're a grizzled old man living in a cabin out in Canada and one night decide to find out what happens when you look down your hunting rifle's barrel when a shot's fired._

Anybody ever realize how goofy yet dark all of my stuff is?

****

ACT II

SCENE: _Sid and Stinky throw Curly into the janitor's closet, step in with him, and close the door with the lights off._

SID: Now here is the part where you have to pay attention…

CURLY: Why are we in the janitor's closet?

SID: Because this bit is very important. We can't let _anybody_ hear what I'm about to tell you…

CURLY: But you could reveal that you're an ex-government op in public.

SID: _They_ already know that! I need to give you the strategy of what to do now.

CURLY: Oh, okay.

SID: You need to get out of town or at least lay low. You need a place to hide, preferably out of town, but you can't take the bus… or plane…

CURLY: Why not?

SID: Because they'll be looking for you. You need to just disappear. You can't come into contact with anybody from school. They might end up installing taps. After a week, they'll start to give up and just presume you dead. If you call attention to yourself, they'll find you and… you know…

CURLY: Well, I could go to Big Gino. He may have some ideas…

SID: _NO! _[Grasping onto Curly's shoulders but releases when he comes to.] He's in on it.

CURLY: Really?

SID: Yeah! Since going out of town is out of the question, you might just want to stay out of public places… maybe just find a hole somewhere. How about the tree fort?

CURLY: Huh?

SID: The tree fort! You could buy some food that's not gonna rot and just hide up there for a few a few days.

STINKY: I thought you said he'd have a week…

SID: Shut up, Stinky.

CURLY: Won't people miss me? What about my parents? What about the school? Won't they send truant officers or something?

SID: Yes, but that's why you tell your mom you are… um…

STINKY: At camp?

SID: Stinky, camp's not in at the same time school is. That's usually the summer.

STINKY: Well, how about he's spending the week at a friend's house?

CURLY: What about school?

SID: Yeah, mister I-Know-Everything-To-Do-When-Trying-To-Avoid-Government-Capture, what do we do about school?

STINKY: Um… the kid has a mentor?

SID: [Narrows his eyes at Stinky and turns over to Curly.] I don't know, what do you think?

CURLY: Sounds good to me. I'd believe it.

SID: I'm sure you would. [Turns over to Stinky and narrows his eyes once more. He comes back to Sid.] So, what are you gonna do?

CURLY: Leave school, disappear.

SID: For how long?

CURLY: A week.

SID: Good! Very good! You know what else? By then, your home might be up to city standards too. You'll be able to go _home_ home!

CURLY: Okay… I just can't believe they want me dead for what I _know…_

SID: Yeah, it's a bummer.

CURLY: I mean, I don't think it's worth me being _dead_! You don't, do you?

SID: Um… of course we don't! That's why we're warning you. Now, _we_ have to return before anybody who's _not_ in on it suspects us missing. _You_ need to get out of here as fast as you can.

CURLY: Okay! Thanks guys! [The door opens and a janitor is looking in on the kids huddled in the closet.]

JANITOR: What are you three doing in here?

CURLY: [Points at the janitor.] _YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, ASSASSIN!_

JANITOR: What?

CURLY: _NOT TODAY YOU DON'T, YOU VILE MURDEROUS DOG!_ [He shoves his way out and runs down the hall laughing.]

SID: [Looks up at the confused janitor.] Heh-heh… he has some emotional problems.

JANITOR: _Some_?

SID: He's really harmless… [Looks at Stinky.] We should go now. Bye… C'mon, Stinky.

STINKY: Okey-dokey. [Looks at the janitor.] See ya later, mister janitor.

JANITOR: What was that all about? [Looks back in the closet.] And what are _you_ doing in here?

BRAINY: [Steps out of the closet halfway.] Uh… uh… waiting…

JANITOR: For what?

BRAINY: Um… uh… something.

JANITOR: [Rolls his eyes and sighs.] Can you pass me my push broom?

BRAINY: [Hands him the broom.] Here.

JANITOR: Thanks. [Slams the door on Brainy.] This whole school is so backwards… [Walks away. As soon as he's out of sight, Helga sneaks around the corner and makes sure the coast is clear. As soon as she sure, she sneaks into the janitor's closet.]

SCENE: _The next day after school at the Arcade. Sid, Gerald, Arnold and Stinky are walking together through the Arcade but not playing anything._

ARNOLD: I don't know, Sid. I feel bad about the whole thing.

SID: Don't worry. He's probably sitting up in that fort eatin' Cheesy Noodles and reading comic books. He'll be back in a week. Besides, the school won't miss him.

ARNOLD: That's mean to say.

SID: No, I mean he's not gonna fail the fourth grade as a high schooler would for missing a week. High school has that stupid rule of where eleven absences during one semester make you fail that class. Elementary is free to allow you to miss as many days as you want. Also, sometimes if you were gone too long after an assignment was assigned it Elementary school, they just excuse from it. The most he may have when he gets back is probably a math ditto. He'll be fine.

ARNOLD: I still feel like it's wrong.

GERALD: Eh, you always do. For once in your life you need to just relax, man. Curly is away for a while, maybe long enough, maybe not… but still it gives _us_ a week to be a little less sick of him and off of the… [Gerald stops. A pounding on the window interrupted him. On the outside window of the Arcade, Curly is pounding to get Sid and Stinky's attention.]

CURLY: [Through the window.] Come on! Hurry!

GERALD: Why's he here?

SID: I don't know but I'm gonna try and get rid of him. [Sid walks out of the Arcade with Stinky.]

ARNOLD: I can't help but feel like I've seen this in a movie somewhere…

GERALD: Oh, you have. [Silenced between them.]

ARNOLD: Well?

GERALD: What?

ARNOLD: Last time I said the same thing, you gave me the title of the movie to remind me.

GERALD: What's your point?

ARNOLD: Oh, nothing. [Silence between the two of them.] Well, whatever movie it was, it happened in a _completely_ different way than right now.

GERALD: Oh, definitely.

ARNOLD: [Silence between them.] Come on, what movie was it? [Silence.] Come on! [Silence.] You don't know what movie it was, do you? [Silence.] You don't.

GERALD: Oh, I do…

ARNOLD: No, you don't.

SCENE: _Outside of the Arcade._

SID: What are you doing? There could be snipers on the other building!

CURLY: Quick, get in the car! [Points over to a small black sedan parked in front of the arcade.]

SID: Um… who drove you here? Isn't that you're neighbors car?

CURLY: Yeah, get in!

SID: Where's your neighbor?

CURLY: GET IN THE CAR!

SID: Okay, okay… [Sid and Stinky both get into the car. Curly sits in the driver's seat.] What are you doing?

CURLY: I'm driving.

SID: You can't drive. You can't even take Driver's Training until you're fifteen or so! What happened to the neighbor?

CURLY: Oh, I stole his car.

SID: What? You said he drove you here!

CURLY: No, I said it was his car.

SID: I'm getting out of here. [Curly hits the door lock. Sid stares at him through the rear-view mirror.] You gotta be kidding me, right? [He pushes the door lock up and tries to open the door… but it won't open.] What's going on? [He starts pulling at the door but stops and pounds the window.] Stinky?

STINKY: [He is also pulling at the door.] What?

SID: Child Safety Locks. We're trapped! [View switches from inside to outside with the car peeling out.]

SCENE: _Inside the Arcade with Arnold and Gerald… that sounds like a bad show on Bravo. "Inside the Arcade with Arnold and Gerald". "Now, Mario, when you… eat the flower… and spit fire… how do you feel?"_

ARNOLD: Huh… now I _know_ I've seen _that_ in a movie.

GERALD: No, I don't believe there's ever been a movie where some little kid is forced in an extreme situation to drive a automobile using only the knowledge he has gathered from playing one too many video games.

ARNOLD: [Silence between them.] Nope, I _know_ I've seen this in a movie. I think it was a cartoon.

GERALD: Nah, I believe this is something completely original.

ARNOLD: [Silence between them.] Are you sure?

GERALD: Positive.

SCENE: _In the car with Curly, Sid and Gerald… once again, another Bravo show gone bad… maybe Discovery channel…_

CURLY: [He's swerving off and on the road.] Ya see; I knew that just being in the town that I would be a sitting duck to the mercenaries sent to kill me. I feel since I can't leave by bus or plane, that I'd have to travel by car. My parents wouldn't let me take their car, so I had no choice but to…

SID: Wait! You didn't…

CURLY: Yeah! Bound and gagged them and shoved 'em in a closet.

SID: [Leaning forward and confused.] I don't know whether or not I should feel relieved or deeply disturbed.

CURLY: Well, they would've only snitched to the assassins.

SID: [Shrugs.] Well, I guess that makes sense.

STINKY: [Starts crying.] I'm being kidnapped! I'm being kidnapped and I'll never see Helga again!

CURLY: Are you two buckled up? [Curly makes a very sharp around a street corner and sends Sid and Stinky tumbling in the back seat.] You know it's a law.

SID: [Utters out with Stinky leaning on him.] As it should be.

SCENE: _Two cops sitting in a cop car at a parking lot near a car wash, parked right next to the sidewalk._

COP 1: So, then what happened?

COP 2: Well, they were getting ready to fire McRedding. They always'll pick out who gets paid the most in a low position to get fired.

COP 1: Ah, the overly paid are the ones who are always jerks. The highest-paid one is always the biggest. [Starts chuckling.]

COP 2: It used to be me. I was demoted a month ago.

COP 1: [Stops laughing.] Sorry.

COP 2: Anyway, he knew he was getting canned so him and his friends hi-jacked the fax machine from the copy room. You know the one that was always breaking down.

COP 1: Yeah.

COP 2: They stole it, took it to a field, and just beat the daylights out of it with a Louisville slugger.

COP 1: Huh… I can't help but think I've seen that before in a… [A car comes speeding by on the sidewalk and nudges the nose of the cop car, spinning it fifteen degrees or so.] What was that?

COP 2: Do you have your seat belt on? [He flicks on the siren and pulls the car out.]

SCENE: _Curly is driving the car and the cop starts following behind with the lights on._

CURLY: I knew this was gonna happen sooner or later. [He grips the steering wheel with only one hand, swerving while acting, and pulls a smoke bomb and a lighter out of the glove box.]

SID: [Glaring at the smoke bomb.] Who do you think you are? Batman?

CURLY: [Very cheesy.] I'm a man. I'm a man at the end of his rope on the lam from the cops. I'm a man who…

COPS: [From PA system in car.] Driver, pull over! Pull over or we shall be forced to open fire!

CURLY: I don't have time for this. [Takes both hands off the steering wheel and steers with his knees, now swerving to the wrong side of the road. He lights the smoke bomb and throws it out of the window.]

SCENE: _In the cop car, the bomb bounces on the window, off the side of the car, and in through the driver's side window, spewing smoke inside of the car._

COP 1: I can't see!

COP 2: Really now?

COP 1: AHHHHH! [Pulls the car over and parks. We can't see it, but he grabs for the microphone on his 2-way radio.] All units, we have a speeding black sedan going down Chestnut. License plate Alpha-Georgia-Mary six hundred forty-seven. [Pauses.] Trust me, it's not hard to miss.

SCENE: _Inside the car, Curly swerves onto the bridge ramp. You know, the bridge that goes over the town and is in all those overhead pictures of the city. While he does this, a new helicopter flies over head._

CURLY: [Sticks his head out of the window.] They're sending the choppers after me!

SID: CURLY, WATCH OUT! [Sid points to a large diesel truck that's coming right for them.] AHHHHHHHHH! [Curly turns out of the way and into the other lane.] _Next time when you decide to steal a car, make sure you can drive first!_

CURLY: If I can ride a bike, I can drive.

SID: _Apparently not!_

STINKY: [Is crying.] _I'm gonna die! I'm gonna die and Helga's just gonna forget about me!_

SID: [Slaps his own forehead.] Stinky, we're gonna make it out of this and you'll be able to see Helga again. Right now, could you _please_ be worried about the more important subject at hand? [Cringes in his seat at Curly's driving and then takes his attention to Stinky.] Hey, remember that time we were running from the cops?

STINKY: [Still crying a little.] Yeah, we thought we were anyway.

SID: Yeah, those were some good times. [Pauses.] Never thought we'd _really_ be on the run from the police. [Pauses even longer.] Hey, how'd we get out of that last one?

STINKY: Arnold.

SCENE: _At the Sunset Arms boarding house, Arnold and Gerald are watching TV._

TV: [While the credits to some show are playing.] Coming up on the after-school news, channel seven's new attempt to make children more interested in current events, a car theft leads to a lengthy chase by police. [A square in the corner shows a picture of Curly driving the black car with Sid and Stinky.] Details coming up… [Whispering.] …Do I _have _to say it? Fine! [Talking.] Details coming up… dude…

ARNOLD: You just saw that, right?

GERALD: Yeah… and?

ARNOLD: They're in trouble! We have to go and save them!

GERALD: How do you suppose we do that?

ARNOLD: [Thinking.] Okay, you win.

GERALD: Hey, what else is on?

SCENE: _In the car, Curly is driving and ahead on the bridge is a police barricade – where they line cop cars in a row to stop the oncoming car. Curly turns swiftly to try and hit them in the corner to break it up._

CURLY: Don't worry, I've done this all the time on Grand Theft Vehicle Five.

SID: Stinky, _now's _the time where you can cry like a sissy. [They ram into the last cop car on the right side and actually push right through the cement siding of the bridge and flip the car over the edge with how fast they were going… okay, that didn't make sense, so let me explain this deeper. The car hits the side railing of the bridge very fast and the cement put around the metal structuring cracks right off. Since the car was going so fast, the impact of hitting the cement brought the back of the car up so far that it somersaulted the car over the side of the bridge. So now the car is flipping forward over the side of the bridge and everyone is screaming. The car falls hard on the ground, tires down, and all that happens is that the bumper and all the hubcaps pop off and a large crack develops in the back window. When they realize they're alive, the kids in the car take their hands off of their heads and look around and laugh.] We're alive! We're alive!

CURLY: Yeah! But the car stalled out. [Curly turns the car back on and keeps driving.]

STINKY: We're gonna die in this car, ain't we Sid?

SID: Yes we are, Stinky. Yes we are.

CURLY: [Drives through a green light and another car at the intersection going the other way (who had the red) slams right into the side of the car. The car does a one-eight to flip it going the other way and the rear tires fall off.] What just happened?

SID: Yes! We're not gonna die in this car after all! We're safe! [At that moment the rear windshield for no reasons busts out and shatters to pieces all over the back of the car, not inside. Sid is shocked.] We're free! We're free! [Sid crawls out of the back window.] Ow… ow… glass… cutting me… [Stinky follows him.]

CURLY: Where are you two going? They're gonna be after you too!

SID: [Runs out of the picture with Stinky.] We're _free! WE'RE FREE!_

CURLY: Fine! I'll take on the police myself! [Steps out of the car. The instant he does, cops surround him and get out of their cars bearing guns.]

COP 3: FREEZE! [The cops also pull in to where Sid and Stinky were escaping.]

STINKY: What do we do now, Sid?

SID: Um… uh… We're screwed, Stinky.

****

To be continued in Act III… as soon as I write it… I just wanted to post this much as soon as possible…

__

Yeah, I said it was going to be two acts… well, now it's three. It's coming soon… After that, no more acts…

Those people on shore; look at them. They'll never know the simple pleasures of a monkey knife fight…

**__**

All rights reserved. ©Shaun Blankenship. Used with permission.


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